I enjoy Elizabeth Musser’s novels because they’re something deeper than most Christian fiction.

They’re not afraid to ask tough questions, and When I Close my Eyes is no exception. The start of the novel a little confusing until I realised who the three viewpoint characters were, and why some portions were in italics.

Henry’s son needs his fourth major surgery in seven years, but there’s no money to pay for it. So Henry takes a cash job that will pay a lot … to shoot author Josephine Bourdillon. No, Henry isn’t a hit man. He’s just normal man who loves his son and would do anything for him to be well.

Paige is Josephine’s sassy sixteen-year-old daughter. She’s not a Christian, even though she knows her mother’s novels have strong themes of faith and forgiveness. I liked Paige. She was intelligent, thoughtful, and wise beyond her years. Despite being a teenager, she’s the one who holds the family together in many ways. She also helps the police by going through her mother’s letters and other writing in an effort to find out who is behind the shooting.

Josephine is the third point of view character, but her scenes are shown in italics because they’re not the present story (in which she’s unconscious). They’re snippets of her memories—some good, some not. It’s confusing, because the memories flit around in time, but that makes sense when we realise they are the memories of a woman in a coma.

There are two questions running behind the story.

First (for me) is the question of who wants Josephine dead. The reader knows Henry is was the guy with the gun, but he’s not the person who wants Josephine dead. He just wants his son alive, and who can fault him for that? Sure, we can agree his method of getting the money for his son’s operation isn’t great. But is motive is strong and believable, and he’s close enough to the edge that I’m convinced he believed this was the only way. So he’s a sympathetic character. We want him to succeed. Except succeeding means Josephine Bourdillon would be dead, and we don’t want that.

The other question is about The Awful Year, as Paige refers to it. We don’t know what The Awful Year was, or when it was. All we know is that it was so awful, Josephine can’t think about it or write about it, and Paige barely knows what happened. All she knows is that it was awful. Do the events of The Awful Year have anything to do with what’s happening now?

Well, those questions certainly kept me turning the pages.

This is probably one of those novels that need to be read and reread to fully appreciate.

When I Close My Eyes by Elizabeth Musser is a unique story of forgiveness that deals with some tough issues, including mental illness. #ChristianFiction #MustRead Share on X

Overall, When I Close My Eyes is one of the best novels I’ve read this year, a unique story of forgiveness that deals with some tough issues, including mental illness. The writing is brilliant, the plot and characters are unique, and it’s close to perfect Christian women’s fiction (with a strong dose of suspense). Recommended.

Thanks to Bethany House Publishers and NetGalley for providing a free ebook for review.

About Elizabeth Musser

Elizabeth Musser writes ‘entertainment with a soul’ from her writing chalet—tool shed—outside Lyon, France. Elizabeth’s highly acclaimed, best-selling novel, The Swan House, was named one of Amazon’s Top Christian Books of the Year and one of Georgia’s Top Ten Novels of the Past 100 Years (Georgia Backroads, 2009). All of Elizabeth’s novels have been translated into multiple languages.

From an interview with Publisher’s Weekly, “Elizabeth Musser likes to say she has two part-time jobs. Not only is she an award-winning novelist, but she and her husband serve as missionaries at a small Protestant church in Lyon, France. In both lines of work, she avoids preaching and simplistic answers, choosing instead to portray a God who cares in the midst of life’s complexity…”

Elizabeth adds, “My desire is to offer the best literature I can write, drawing the reader into a story that is compelling, believable and sprinkled with historical detail. I seek to give a realistic picture of what faith lived out in this world looks like, and, as always, I hope that my stories can be appreciated by all audiences, not just those readers who hold my same religious beliefs. It is a delight to receive confirmation of this through reader letters.”

For over twenty-five years, Elizabeth and her husband, Paul, have been involved in missions’ work in Europe with International Teams. The Mussers have two sons, a daughter-in-law and three grandchildren who all live way too far away in America.

You can find Elizabeth online at:

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About When I Close My Eyes

Could she ever share the secret of The Awful Year?

There is one story that novelist Josephine Bourdillon shirked from writing. And now she may never have a chance. Trapped in her memories, she lies in a coma.

The man who put her there is just as paralyzed. Former soldier Henry Hughes failed to complete the kill. What’s more: he never received full payment–funds that would ensure surgery for his son.

As detectives investigate disturbing fan letters, a young but not-so-naïve Paige Bourdillon turns to her mother’s turbulent past for answers. Could The Awful Year be worse than the one they’re living now?

Set against the flaming hills of North Carolina and the peaceful shores of the Mediterranean Sea, When I Close My Eyes tells the story of two families struggling with dysfunction and finding that love is stronger than death.

Find When I Close My Eyes online at:

Amazon | BookBub | Goodreads